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Shely R Esses, LMFT, RMFT, RP (Qualifying) & AST
“Trauma alters the way the brain and body communicate.”
—Jessica McGuire, founder of Nervous System School
This essay is to help you understand how trauma is stored in the body and how the body reacts and responds to stress. My experience as a third-generation Holocaust and pogrom survivor is the reason why I became so passionate about this topic. Befriending your nervous system will help you regulate your body when thinking of future danger (that may or may not come to be). The benefit of being regulated despite potential danger is the goal. With this in mind, we can understand the importance of access to a calm body and mind during times of stress.
I have lived so much of my life uncomfortable in my body, and sometimes I still get uncomfortable in my body. However, now that I have the desire, awareness, and tools to live in a calm body, things feel more manageable. The best thing I have done for myself is befriend my nervous system. The first thing I had to unlearn was my assumption that the body is a machine with separate parts. Homeostasis is the term used to describe the body as a balanced/cohesive system. All of the organs and organ systems of the human body work together. This is because they are connected to and regulated by the nervous system and endocrine systems. This workbook is a celebration of the vast knowledge we have of the autonomic nervous system.
“The body being healthy is the way of the lord. It is impossible to understand or know the creator while unwell. Therefore, one should keep away from things that destroy the body.” - Rambam Mishne Torah, Laws of Behavior 4:1
Survival mode, which is a natural response to threats, can have detrimental effects on our body and mindfulness when it becomes chronic. One will notice difficulties with health, emotional well-being, and the ability to stay present and mindful. The fact is that many people are experiencing life through varying degrees of chronic survival mode. Everyday experiences can be extremely triggering and cause dysregulation. For people who are unaware of their reactions being linked to their survival instinct, a fight or flight response to a “stressful” work e-mail may seem normal. Nonetheless, some moments and events are beyond the capacity of the ventral vagus (rest and digest mode) to regulate the system. Illness and traumatic events that require so much of us really tax the system. For example, after the world experienced COVID-19, years later more people than ever are feeling burnout, depression, and social anxiety. In general, having too many responsibilities, working in a challenging space, and being in a difficult relationship can be very triggering and thus cause a person to live in chronic survival mode with limited understanding or awareness of how to move out of it.
During times of stress, the body releases the hormone cortisol. Cortisol is an essential hormone that affects almost every organ and tissue in the body. Cortisol helps with regulating the body’s response to stress, controls the body’s use of fats, proteins, and carbohydrates and metabolism, and suppresses inflammation. Cortisol also helps regulate blood pressure, blood sugar, and the circadian rhythm. Your body continuously monitors cortisol levels to maintain steady levels. Higher than normal or lower than normal cortisol levels can be harmful to one’s health. When trauma elevates cortisol to unhealthy levels, it can have an epigenetic impact on the person and their children. Cortisol impacts early development during pregnancy, and cortisol also supports the developing fetus. When the mother’s body releases cortisol, the fetus absorbs the hormone through the placenta. Cortisol has an impact on the baby’s HPA axis- (the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis), the central nervous system, and the autonomic nervous system. Epigenetics has been shown to influence a person’s susceptibility to PTSD. - How a Caregiver's Trauma Can Impact a Child's Development, National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine
Galit Atlas, author of Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma, writes about the invisible aspects of our lives that create so much of who we are and how we operate. In the last decade, the trauma and resilience research and literature have ripened. There is more of a focus on how family trauma moves from generation to generation. Atlas beautifully explains how family trauma, even the secrets and the parts we have not been told about, is still inherited: “Hungarian-born psychoanalysts Maria Torok and Nicholas Abraham used the word ‘phantom’ to describe the many ways in which the second generation felt their parents’ devastation and losses, even when the parents never talked about them. Their inherited feelings of the parents’ unprocessed trauma were the phantoms that lived inside them, the ghosts of the unsaid and the unspeakable” (Atlas, 2022, p. 11).
When someone sense of security is shattered a person will most likely shift into survival mode. Psychological trauma is notorious for causing invasive and upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away. This often results in people living in chronic survival mode. “When it comes to talking about trauma, we always walk the delicate line between too much and not enough, between what is too explicit and what is secretive, what is traumatizing and what is repressed and thus remains in its raw, wordless form,” Atlas says. “We are usually caught in that binary between two extremes because when it comes to trauma, regulation is always challenging.” - G. Atlas, Emotional Inheritance, Pg. 97
I struggled with the balance Atlas describes after the events that took place on October 7th, 2023. The trauma, fear, and anxiety were not old, it was new, relevant, and pending. Everything I had learned through words or silence from my parents and grandparents was now becoming part of my story. It broke my heart in so many ways, but as I lived in the worst chronic survival mode I have ever experienced, I watched how my kids picked up on my every move and emotion. Being a mother to young kids during this time has pushed me to hold space for both the desperate need to let my emotions out and when to sit with my emotions in silence. It is my job as a mother to predigest the world for my young children. Now, more than ever, I am living a life that reflects what this workbook is about.
Atlas quotes Jerimiah: “People will no longer say, ‘the parents have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.” (31:29) She called it a prayer for children so they should not have to carry the consequences of their parents’ lives and the wish that our emotional inheritance can be worked through and altered” (Atlas, 2022, p. 265).
Learning consequences is a lesson as old as time. The story of Adam and Chavah in Gan Eden ends due to the consequences of their actions. This suggests that the work always begins with accepting the consequences and doing the work to redeem and rectify one’s actions. The Jewish term mida k’neged mida is translated to “measure for measure.” This principle is designed for Olam Hazeh (this world), and, in this world, we are healing and repairing, and it is very important in Judaism to know that our thoughts, speech, and actions affect not only ourselves but our children and our children’s children. The deepest teachings on Mida K’neged Mida ultimately hold us responsible for working toward a life filled with good deeds, so that merit and goodness will carry over to all of our descendants.
However, we also know that being human can be very difficult, and temptation and mistakes are inevitable. Thus, the principle of Mida K’neged Mida can manifest immediately or at a future date. There are some cases in which certain measures take many lifetimes and thousands of years to work themselves out. In classical Judaism, this principle is not for humans to comprehend, and it’s suggested to accept that only the divine source of the world knows exactly how, when, and where the measure for measure will occur. Rabbi Trugman teaches that sometimes it’s clear why certain things happen to us and what the causes and effects of our actions are, and sometimes the reasons for why things happen are not obvious at all.
Thus, when looking to understand Trauma we must also cover PTSD. It is very common for survivors of any type of trauma to suffer from unpredictable, rapid, intense, and prolonged states of dysregulation. For example, after the Holocaust, life did not just snap back to how it was. There is no question about the grave effects on second-generation holocaust survivors.
Research is divided on whether the grandchildren of trauma survivors are significantly impacted. But at least one recent study has shown that both the children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors were much more likely to suffer from secondary trauma than Jewish children and grandchildren of persons who were not Holocaust survivors. This was especially true for the descendants of survivors for whom the Holocaust had a central defining role in their lives, shaping their personal identity and the lens through which they view the world. Intergenerational Trauma and the Promise of Healing | Psychology Today
PTSD origins
Post-concentration camp syndrome changed the concept of psychic trauma. In 1960 this syndrome was officially introduced. “Physicians in the U.S. and Israel, who examined the victims, had never before encountered such a multitude of complaints and symptoms as reactions to the Holocaust,” explains Nathan Durst, co-founder of AMCHA (Israeli Center for Holocaust Survivors and the Second Generation). “These included an increase in physical illnesses, higher mortality, and an increase in emotional disturbances. Regarding the latter, the patterns were rather unusual and did not correspond to the standard nomenclature for psychiatric illnesses” (Durst, 2002).
Twenty years later, in the 1980s, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) was an acceptable diagnosis worldwide. The research for PTSD was based on Holocaust survivors, World War II and Vietnam veterans, Hiroshima survivors, and victims of political regimes and sexual and domestic violence. The main lesson learned about this diagnosis is that people who have endured horrible events can suffer psychological disturbances, either immediately after the event or many years later. The common denominator for all of these traumatic events is the feeling of terror, intense fear, helplessness, loss of control, and the threat of annihilation (Durst, 2002).
Jewish people have not rested from fear, hate, and grief since October 7, 2023.
In my lifetime, I have never felt this awake to my intergenerational trauma, and yet, I clicked into some next-level intergenerational strength and resilience. Jewish history is simultaneously 4,000 years old and 75 years young, and, through it all, we did not just survive; we continue to strive to live. We have cracked open the human response to trauma by practicing an obligation from the Torah and Tikkun Hanefesh, which can be translated to “healing or correcting the soul.” The Baal Shem Tov (1698–1760) understood joy as a device to healing and a key to redemption. The Baal Shem Tov was not interested in toxic positivity; he was teaching the most authentic path to joy. He believed that finding beauty within the ugliness—that the spark of light behind the darkness is the remedy. By reconnecting to your faith in the unknown and activating bitachon (faith on fire), the evil is sweetened and transformed. Yaakov Kirsh, founder of Conscious Judaism, wrote about returning to one’s bitachon: “Returning to the source of all life is regulating the nervous system, so the human heart can be fully engaged.”
Ergo, the path forward is begginng with the wisdom of the immune system to begin to befriend your nervous system! I still catch myself moving at warp speed, my eyebrow twitching, picking at my nails, or an anxiety-induced stomachache. I could no longer sit around in and accept an uncomfortable body. It all started to improve with my understanding of the Immune system.
The immune system is a powerful system that helps take care of you. It protects you from infection, injury, and even psychological distress. The nervous system and the immune system communicate with each other and work closely together. The immune system will act up if you’re facing adversities—anything from long plane rides and adjusting to different time zones, to nervousness over a test or the first day of a new job, to being a victim of a traumatic event. When a person is going through chronic and traumatic stress, it is typical for a person to dissociate (feeling numb, disconnected, or separate from the physical sensations and emotions in parts of the body).
The Below activity will help you analyze how your immune system is impacting you day to day.
Fill in the blank:
Exp: When I partake in trying something for the first time, it sets off my immune system,
My Immune system is sensitive to my anxiety.
When I partake in __________________, it sets off my immune system.
My immune system is sensitive to ____________________.
When you notice that something in particular sets off your immune system do you
Refrain from this activity? b) do it less often c) continue regardless of effects
d) use nervous system regulation to widen your window of tolerance
If you do it anyway, do you have a system or tools in place that help lower the effects of your distressed immune system?
Chronic and traumatic stress can lead to modification in the activity of the immune system. Evidence suggests that gastrointestinal disorders, such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), and Crohn’s disease (CD), are often the body’s response to chronic and traumatic stress. These gastrointestinal disorders are considered inflammation in the body.
Powerful epidemiological and genetic studies have provided ample evidence that a subset of both Crohn’s disease and inflammatory bowel disease are likely attributable to a primary genetic etiology. As Lynch, Brand, and Locker (2004) note, “This is evidenced by the recent identification of the IBD1 gene [irritable bowel disease] (NOD2) mutations which show an association with susceptibility to Crohn’s Disease. The IBD complex shows a significantly increased frequency in Jews when compared to non-Jews. While there is an increased incidence of colorectal cancer (CRC) in patients with IBD, it nevertheless is important to realize that IBD likely accounts for no more than 1-3% of all cases of CRC in Ashkenazi Jews.”
Sephardic and Mizrahi Jewish genetic studies are more dependent on the individual’s country of origin. The three main genetic diseases that are seen in the Sephardic and Mizrahi communities are cystic fibroids, spinal muscular atrophy, and hemoglobinopathies. These are all genetic disorders that affect the organs and, by proxy, the immune and nervous systems (Forward Staff, 2013).
When we move away from viewing our body as a machine with separate parts, we can move toward the reality of our body as an interconnected ecological system. We can see how chronic health conditions can show up as reactions to trauma (including the potential for intergenerational trauma to cause gene alterations). The nervous system helps us understand how to improve the overall functioning of the body. “Millions of nerves connect the central nervous system—the brain and spinal cord to the rest of the body. The nervous system works like a landline telephone network” (Daniels, 2023).
The nervous system is the bridge between the brain and the gut. The health of your gut is related to your physiological well-being and vice versa. The gut-brain axis is an extremely helpful tool to utilize when learning how to settle your body. The gut’s enteric nervous system is sometimes described as a “second brain.”Research suggests that the gut microbiome affects brain function in adults, which has an impact on stress, anxiety, depression, and cognition. Irritable bowel syndrome has recently been reclassified as a disorder of gut-brain interaction. “Traumatic stress is an extreme version of the stress response that your body experiences following a traumatic event. When your stress doesn’t turn off, your body is bathed in hormones and neurotransmitters that can damage your gut bacteria and your intestinal lining. It affects your mood, sleep, and energy and produces increased levels of inflammation – the underlying root of diseases like arthritis.” - Dr Mark Hyman. Studies are currently being conducted to establish a treatment intervention with pre- and probiotic supplements that may help balance brain function in healthy and diseased individuals.
Activity:
Are you aware of your body’s response to stress and anxiety? Can you list a few of these responses?
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
If you are having trouble, I can offer some help! You can circle all the terms that are applicable to you.
Digestive issues Muscle tension Insomnia Racing heart Memory issues Fatigue/exhaustion
Irregular pupil size Shallow breathing Sensory sensitivity Headache Chest pain Reflux
Change in sex drive Shaking hands Biting nails or inside of mouth Unable to sit still.
Poor bowel movements
How to heal the gut?
Learning more about leaky gut syndrome may be a good place to start. Healing the gut typically involves 1) An elimination diet for about two weeks to see what foods may be causing the problem. You will need a functional medicine doctor for proper guidance. 2) Add healthy foods that heal your gut lining and gut flora into your diet. Typically, this includes fiber and good-quality fats. 3) Consistency for regulation by adding in a good-quality daily probiotic to your diet. 4) Patience and dedication!
Aviva Romm, MD, offers a list of supplements that can be taken for 3–6 months to help repair and restore the intestinal lining. She lists these supplements as the most important: turmeric, aloe vera, marshmallow root, and DGL licorice. (Aloe and licorice are not for internal use during pregnancy; they are fine for children.)
She adds: Zinc (5–10 mg/day for children 4–7 years old, 10–20 mg for children aged 12+, 25–40 mg/day for older children and adults) and an antioxidant supplement containing vitamins A, C, E, and selenium. (These are often found in multivitamins. Pregnant women should get these from their prenatal vitamins only.)
From here, we can really start to understand how intimately and often our body and brain communicate about our survival. Now we can focus on the how the gut affects the brain.
Circle as many as applicable:
You are caught in looping thoughts.
You feel agitated, irritated, and unrelaxed .
You are overly emotional.
Everything is urgent.
Making decisions is a struggle
You need constant reassurance.
You try to control every little detail.
Your sleep is restless.
You don’t feel connected to yourself.
You doomscroll.
You feel constantly distracted
You lash out easily.
You can be passive aggressive.
You experience a racing heart rate and shortness of breath.
If you circled more than a few, don't be deterred from this work! Having a wake up call to your immune systems call will help you begin to heal your nervous system. Jew's are hardwired for survival. That is why learning about the nervous system can help us understand how to move from survival to thriving.
Speaking about the threatening things that cause a nervous system to be full can cause a negative reaction. In such cases, talking about anything slightly challenging with a person whose nervous system is full can cause that person to experience an explosion of emotions and dysregulation. Individuals with a history of severe adversity may find themselves consistently hypervigilant, awaiting a threat to come their way. In this condition, it is difficult to become regulated.
Healing trauma is acknowledging and accepting all of the things we try not to think about. In order to move through trauma, we need to lean into the wisdom of pain for gain. By meeting your pain and experiencing it fully, you process it. Sometimes humans get food poisoning; it’s certainly not by choice, but the only way through it is to metabolize it and get it out. This is exactly what we want to do with our trauma. Through that process, we can grow and create more room in our nervous systems that help us flourish and become wiser and stronger versions of ourselves. On the contrary, avoidance, blame, and denial are the components of pain for the sake of pain. This type of pain is what keeps the most vicious, dangerous, and counterproductive cycles of never-ending chaos going. The human experience thrives off challenges and difficulties; that’s how we grow.
Finding the right therapist and or healing professional to get this work started is optimal. Moving through deep wounds and pain is not to be done alone without training and or practice.
In the mean time you can start here:
To heal, we need to come to terms with the root cause of our chronic stress response. This process involves examining the coping mechanisms from childhood that were used when overwhelmed by what was going on around you. Once these coping mechanisms are identified it becomes easier to rewrite those responses and communicate to ourselves (to our inner child) that we are safe. Gaining awareness of the things that keep you stuck which play a roll in a dystegulated immune system is the first step.
Thinking Traps
Mind Reading
Fortune Telling
Black and White Thinking
Filtering
Catastrophizing
Over-Generalization
Labeling
Personalization
“Should” statements
Emotional reasoning
Control fallacies
Fallacy of fairness
Thinking Traps Defense Mechanisms
Mind Reading Denial
Fortune Telling Repression
Black and White Thinking Projection
Filtering Displacement
Catastrophizing Regression
Over-Generalization Rationalization
Labeling Sublimation
Personalization Reaction Formation
“Should” statements Compartementalization
Emotional reasoning Intellectualization
Control fallacies
Fallacy of fairness
This is an invitation for you to look into any of the thinking traps or defence mechanisms that sound like it may be something you use to protect yourself from the feelings of anger, fear, shame and sadness. Can you reflect on how it plays into your immune system?
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