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Tikkun Hanefesh (soul healing) is an occurrence of the human experience that can happen at various different points and parts of one’s life. To go through a Tikkun means that an individual took the opportunity to shed a layer and become the next version of themselves.
When we heal our nefesh (soul), we become more connected to the life force that exists inside of us. In other cultures, the “life force” has been called qi, pranayama, vitality, etc. Just like a muscle that we can strengthen, we can also strengthen our awareness of the life force within us. With this awareness of the life force, we can begin to experience more moments of stability, calmness and trust in the Rebono Shel Olam, the Creator of the World. With this lived experience each person can become more tuned into their role of the Tikkun Olam (healing the world) process. Rabbi Tarfon, in the Pirkei Avot (Chapter 2, Mishnah 16), states: “You are not obligated to finish the whole task, and you are also not free to neglect it.” Moving through life with a settled body is challenging. Even more so, moving through conflict with a settled body is a radical act. This is not an easy goal, but it’s a wonderful one to have.
Real healing begins within our own family constellations, communities & beyond. Engaging people with a settled body helps other bodies they encounter settle as well. Over time, if enough bodies heal from intergenerational and personal trauma, we start to become a harmonious culture with resilience and flow. This is not meant to be cheesy, eye-roll inducing, or hippy-dippy. This is real talk and a real opportunity to create real change within the world. On a basic level, we are conditioned to constrict and contract our bodies from a place of misunderstanding primarily to protect ourselves from the unknown. In todays age, a person may find themselves in this position if they are uneducated or poorly educated on people who are different than you. If we could see each other’s soul, the color, shape, or appearance of our skin, hair, or eyes would not matter. If we truly connected to the neuroception (the brain’s subconscious threat detector) and do the work to turn on the heart’s logic and soul’s wisdom, we would be guided more clearly by the lens of truth. This helps us sift out and differentiate between truth and illusion (falsehood).
Society at large, the powers at be, and our media unsettle our bodies way more than they help us settle them. The system is set up against us— and maybe that’s right where the system in place by the human powers at be wants to keep us. Alas, something to discuss another time.
Even though I am primarily trained in and come from the world of talk therapy, the more I learn, the more I have extended my therapeutic style to include holistic, energy, and somatic techniques. The body has a story that we need to take into account.
“The body remembers what the mind forgets” —Jacob L. Moreno, MD, founder of psychodrama
Stress and Resilience
It is crucial to understand how resilience is built in the nervous system. A resilient, adaptable, and flexible nervous system needs to experience some stress, challenges, and even failure. When people are pushed outside of their comfort zone, their nervous system can learn to function more effectively under stress, provided it gets to fully recover from the stress of activation.
“Most of us have been taught to believe that stress is bad. We have learned to see stress as our enemy, something that me must avoid or reduce. But the truth is, when stress can be managed, it tends to be very good and even necessary for health and growth. Without it the mind and body weaken. If we learn to harness stress it can serve as a catalyst for developing greater strength and even greater wisdom.” –Steven M. Southwick, M.D. and Dennis S. Charney, Resilience The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges
We still need to acknowledge that building resilience and bouncing back is easier for some than others. The more you know who you are, the more you can truly begin this work. The more honest you are with yourself about your triggers and limitations, the more you can heal. In Viktor Frankls theory of logotherapy, he uses a heriarchy to get to self-actualization. The hierarchy is as follows: physiological, safety, love, esteem, and self-actualization. I have spent many hours thinking about Viktor Frankl’s perspective on self-actualization as meaning and purpose in life and how it effects a persons attitude towards suffering. This is a very deep teaching, it ultimately accepts that suffering is an aspect of self-actualization. The road to resilience is often due to struggle and suffering.
Nachum Ish Gam Zu, whose catch phrase was “Gam Zu’ L’tova” who lived and died around the time of the second temple got his name by always saying “this, too, is for the good.” In Judaism there is a belief that there is meaning and purpose to the struggle that is ultimately for the good of the person going through it. This is obviously a very high level to function at all times. However, the regular person when faced with serious struggle will absolutely be effected by their nervous system. This is why we must learn how to start with physiology and move up the ladder toward self-actualization and regulation. This is how we can begin to walk the talk of “Gam Zu L’tova”
Shely Esses, LMFT,RMFT,RP(Qualifying), AST & Spiritual Healer
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